'Tis our anniversary today. Seventeen years married, not a particularly momentous number but an accomplishment none the less. I now wait for many relatives to descend upon us as today correlates to a Christmas in July party that is happening at our home I'm reflecting quietly on how much I've changed over the past 17 years of married life. Although I can look in the mirror and lament some not so favourable changes to many parts of my anatomy, I can say without a doubt that marrying my high school sweetheart and hanging on for dear life through the years and rocky roads and roller coasters that ensued is the single best decision I ever made. Years back I would be in total panic mode at the present time as I wait for 30 plus people to arrive and in my mind scrutinize how I look, how my kids are dressed, how clean the house is, if the environment is favourable and so on.... Today I'm not throwing all my standards out the window, not at all as the passage of time has guaranteed us the privilege of a nicer home and more mature kids that can (for the most part) act accordingly but I am remarkably very relaxed. I am what I am, warts and all and if people haven't accepted me for who I am by now, no sense getting my knickers in a knot!
A huge part of this self acceptance comes with the love and unconditional support of the wonderful boy, now a man that I fell for all those years ago. Lets face it-there's only so many occasions, so many years that can pass with me acting like a psychotic whirling dervish of panicked energy while this calm, cool and casual man remains completely unfazed by my side before even I, slow learner that I am realize that I'm expending quite a bit of energy on really nothing much!
A glass breaks, clean it up. The button pops on my pants as I head to the bathroom one last time before guests arrive...oh bloody hell!....but no biggie, go get the needle and thread it will be long fixed before anyone comes!, the house is unbearably hot as we endure yet another week of unbroken heat wave, so what! I cannot control these things, so why stress?
I have so much to be thankful for, my great children, beautiful home, financial comfort, friends, family and of course Scott, the rock in my life, unwavering and unshakable.
I do still have complete psychotic moments, no doubt, life does still deliver many, many bumps and yes, I still over-react at least half the time but I calm down quicker, explode a little slower and I don't believe it's simply because I care less or am too old only that I was very blessed to find the Yin to my Yang so very long ago. He compliments whatever it is that I've got and makes this journey such a fun and terrific adventure! Thanks Mr. Judd for spending your life by my side!