Friday, March 22, 2013

Painting lately

I have picked up the paintbrush again and I'm beginning my art "marathon" in preparation for this year's Pontiac Artists' Studio Tour.  I struggle with each and every painting because there is a constant part of me that wonders am I good enough?  Enough for what or who? - I have no idea.
I do know I can scour through galleries, websites and magazines and without a doubt feel deep down that I'm missing the mark and every single artist out there is superior to me.  I can study and analyse and assess what they seem to be doing that resonates with me.   I can even go so far as attempting to 'copy' their style to learn and broaden my talent and yet it all falls flat.
I'm told not to paint what is saleable, but what feels right to me.  This makes sense.  But how do I know what is right for me?  What I would buy is not exactly what I paint.  Regardless, I keep trying.
What I do know is I can see slight improvements in my art as the years pass.  The change is subtle but encouraging.  I also know that no matter what the final product looks like I am mesmerized while I'm in the process.  Whether I work intensely for 30 minutes or labour for 4 hours at a time, my focus, heart and soul are all at the table, communicating and working out the composition together and while I haven't scored the staus of  "world renowned or acclaimed" and likely never will I know that whatever I have to offer come June, however quaint, will be authentically "me".

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